Overwhelmed or Overcomer

Dear Captain,

In the midst of this battle things easily get overwhelming.   I look in the mirror and I see just one.  Just one whose inclination is quietness and peace.  How did I step into warrior's shoes?   It seems as though just when my heart forgets the burden, something or someone reminds me that it is still there.  Around me are countless displays of Your love and promises in Your Word, through song, and life events.  They remind me that You have it all in Your hands.  So why does my heart waiver?   I may feel undervalued, but You, my Savior, value me more than I can imagine.  I may feel like my voice has been silenced, but You, The Almighty, always listen.  I may feel alone but You, my Friend, know me best and still commit to always be with me.  I may feel inadequate, but You are the God of angel armies.  This battle has made me grow, not only in strength, but in awareness.  Hurting comes in different forms and some can be oppressed in such subtle ways we overlook it.  Something had to pop the bubble around my life so that I could see the injustice that was occurring.  I could have walked away and I still will if You want me to.  It's so much easier to just look out for myself and expect others to do the same.  I don't want this to be about greed or retribution.  Search my heart dear God and know me.  My desire is for this to be about righting a wrong, valuing equality, and making a change for the better of people's lives.  In the end, if You would just use me to reflect Your glory, that would be my greatest accomplishment.

Go before me and lead me in this battle.  Nothing can stand against You.  I will follow and hold to Your promises.  It is a battle unfamiliar, it is a battle of long-suffering, it is a battle of sacrifice, it is an unpopular battle but it is the one You've asked me to fight.  And fight I will!  When my arms weaken in carrying the sword, hold them up.  When my steps grow heavy, lift me up.  When my heart feels as though it would break, hold it together.  And when my words fail me, speak through me.  As Esther was cloaked in the strength of her people's cries and prayers, so I pray You cover me.  In wisdom, patience, grace, and strength may You guide by steps.  And in the words of Your servant David, "This battle is the Lord's."

In Jesus' Name I press on,

Amen

Fall Apart

My Father,
Why is it we turn to You so quickly when things fall apart? While everything goes smoothly and exactly the way I hope, I find it so easy to forget that You are standing right next to me. My earnest desire is to return praise for every one of Your blessings.
Today I remember the birth of my beautiful daughter. For a whole year her presence has blessed my life so that I find it impossible to think of life without her. She was born without complication and has had a year of wonderful health. Thank you.
Today I also carry a burden. One in which only You know the depth and breadth. But maybe this is how knowing You more starts. Maybe such a trial is a blessing and another opportunity for You to show Yourself faithful. It's easy to walk a smooth road. But it is on those rocky, steep, and pot holed roads that you hold my hand. When you hold my hand I feel closer to You. Just like my child, she is so confident when the path is easy, but I have to admit I love it when she reaches out to me. I love being her hero. God, You are more than my hero. You are my Savior and I find you when I fall apart.
Help me not to worry but to completely trust in You. You have never disappointed. Expectations have no limit with You. Even the smallest flower is beautiful. You have hands that put together the pieces perfectly.

My hope is in You and so I rest,

Amen

True Freedom

My Dear Redeemer,

You've taken these broken pieces and have made something that shines enough to reflect your glory. Your work is not finished yet, but the transformation so far is amazing. It isn't anything I've done or anything I could ever do. The work you've done in me is all your own. There aren't any rules I can obey, any lines I have to stay between, and any allegiance I can make and be true to. You have made me free from all of that. It is You in me and me in You. It is falling in love with You deeper and deeper. This is the change happening in me.
It is not a bargain, because I could never keep my end of any deal. It is your grace that is all sufficient. You owe me nothing, yet you've given me all you have without waiting to see how good I can be.
You haven't given me empty words to just believe in or obligations that I have to keep. I'm not holding on to a religion that binds to me to rituals or laws. You are a truth that lives and breathes. Unlike those who came before, I don't have a shadow of a promise, I have the living promise fulfilled. You are infecting me and I become more like you when I don't allow myself to get in the way. Anyone can have a code or creed of honor, but that's just a stone tied to your feet. I have been touched by love irresistible. The burdens I carried were taken away. I'm not following commandments. The time for that school master is gone. I'm holding the hand of the love of my life, the source of all goodness, peace, and perfect rest and walking side by side with my Savior. He isn't pointing out all my weaknesses along the way. Instead he's consumed me with himself. It's something beautiful!
One day the ocean of this change will drown me completely. The tide will rush over me when I least expect it. I look forward to that day. The day I close my eyes in this world and look face to face with my Redeemer. The day I look into the eyes of love himself. I'm on my knees waiting for that day!


In Jesus' Name,

Amen

God's Love

My dear Savior,

If only we truly understood about Your love. If only we would stop and consider just how much you love us. Oh, how different our perspectives, ideas, and attitudes would be. Your love is so demonstrated. Your beautiful creation, your preserved Word, and your ultimate sacrifice are evidence of Your love. Your love is so enduring. Since the first man walked this earth, You loved him and met all his needs. And even now You continue to bless and provide for Your own. Your love is so faithful. Long after we have failed you countless times, You still love us. When we knowingly make wrong choices, when we allow sadness to overtake our minds, when the cares of this world hold us down, You always, always, always are there to pick us up, hold our hands, and see us through. Why are so many blind to the depth of Your love? How can we experience the amazing opportunity of parenthood and not understand that You love us that much and more? Our children do not earn our love, we give it. Our children cannot fall out of our love, they are engulfed in it. Can it be any clearer that we are Your children and that becoming your child is not something we earned? We do not have a contract with You. It is not as though we are keeping our end of a deal and You are keeping Yours. This is a relationship - unbreakable. This is a gift - unreturnable. This is grace. If I being an imperfect human, answer my daughter when she calls, love her unconditionally, and have her every happiness in mind - how much more do You love me.

In a world where so many feel like they are just one in a million, help me to reflect Your love- the kind of love that loves each one like they were the one and only.

My heart is overwhelmed with the thought of such love.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

The Desire

Dear Everlasting Father,

You have surrounded me with love since before the day I took my first breath. You have protected me more than I realize, blessed me more than I deserve, forgiven me more than I can understand, taught me more than I can remember, and showered me with grace more than I can imagine. My cup runneth over and what have I to desire besides You? While my heart longs to echo the Psalmist – “I shall not want, “there is a longing in my heart that I cannot ignore. Although friendship has been the source of my greatest sorrow, I long to experience the most intimate type. There is nothing I deserve to ask You for and there is nothing You owe me. All You have done is beyond words. Your love has never left me. I see all my failures and how much more I should be for You. And I wonder if that is why You deny me such a privilege. Perhaps there are lessons yet for me to learn before beginning such an endeavor. Or greater still there is the awesome reality that such a role is not in Your plan for my life. Lord, give me the strength to accept Your perfect will, to trust that You know what is best and to wait on Your perfect timing. The desire in my heart burns and grows greater everyday. It is in Your hands now to control and keep pure. May it never grow so great that it clouds my sight and leads me to compromise or accept anything less than Your best. Until it is fulfilled or You quench the desire with Your love, mold me into what I need to be, use me to touch others with Your love, and restore me from the burden of my past failures to reach for a future that glorifies You in every way. May the greatest desire in my heart be to know and love You more.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Torn and Clouded

Dear Wonderful Counselor,

Sometimes I feel so torn and clouded by so many thoughts and ideals. My nurturing, environment, and education war against the philosophy of this world and my shattered heart that seeks a new foundation. There was a time I could believe with the ignorance of a child, when my trust was easily earned, and my faith so strong. I cannot find that child. All I see is a lost adult running from her past and searching for a new beginning to build a future. Oh Lord, I’m tired of running, I’m tired of questioning, and I’m tired of contemplating every possible avenue and wondering which is in Your perfect plan for me. I have done my best to restore and make amends with even those who have crushed my spirit. And in the end my greatest desire is to hear You say “Well done.” I long to be successful in Your eyes, to make You proud of me somehow, and to have Your blessing on my life. Your Word is truth and in it I find the ways I can please You and I learn the principles in which to live. But I am a fool and Your wisdom is too wonderful for me. So I fall on my hands and knees and plead for Your wisdom and guidance. And I ask You to hold my hand and lead me in the path of my life. Keep me from getting lost in worldly philosophy, keep me from going after vain obsessions, and keep me from becoming cold to a world that needs Your love. Establish each of my steps, assure my heart of Your presence, and anoint my eyes with Your perspective. Guide me and I will never feel lost, walk with me and I will never be alone. Forgive me for my weak faith, my discontented and prideful spirit, and my distance from You. Restore me securely to Your side and hold me in Your arms dear Father.

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Goodness in the Face of the Impossible

Dear Wonderful and Merciful Father,

It is amazing to even begin to comprehend Your goodness. There is not a reason in the world why You should listen to me and there is far less any reason why You should love me. I am in awe of Who You are and of the many countless ways You show Yourself real. Oh Lord forgive me. Dare I ask again, but that I am assured of Your mercy which endures forever. Forgive me, Lord, for the shamefully numerous times I have exalted other worthless things and people before You. Forgive me for how I have sought vain achievements, hollow friendships, and wasted the precious time You have given me on materialistic duties. While I have sacrificed for people’s praise, I have forgotten Your commandments. And while I proclaim my love You, I have failed to be kind and forgiving to my own family and friends. Lord, there is no love in me, there is no good. My flesh is so weak and my heart fails. Be my strength Lord, be my courage and my wisdom, be my help, my comfort, and make me a channel of Your love. Even now my heart struggles, even now I feel as though I face the impossible. How wonderful to know that You are the God of the impossible and that in the end all glory will be Yours, for I know that all my best efforts come to waste. If there be anything worthy of praise, it was by Your hand. Make my heart tender to know your leading. Bring me closer to Your heart so I can see things the way You do. Make my life an impact for Your perfect will. May I always be reminded of how much You have brought me through and the great things You can do with my life if I will be completely surrendered. You have my all Lord, make me all I can be for You.

In Jesus Name,

Amen